I had a bit of a meltdown __with the punting last Wednesday.
Three tennis losers (all before 10am), two horse racing bets (one winner at 5/1 and one loser) and a greyhound bet that was so embarrassing I can’t even speak about it on these pages.
It all basically meant I needed Michael Van Gerwen to score more 180s than James Wilson at the World Grand Prix at 4/6. Or face insolvency.
Just over a decade ago you could hang your hat on Roger Federer in the tennis in most major tournaments. The ‘Bank of Federer’ got me out of so many scrapes back then and MVG is proving similarly dominant today. The big Dutch ‘Green Machine’ played beautifully to win 3-0 and land my maximums bet, meaning I could finally sleep soundly after a roller-coaster day.
Wednesday of course was also the day the story broke about Joey Barton being pulled for allegedly having 44 bets on football matches between July 1 and September 15.
44 bets? That just sounds like a steady Friday afternoon in Coral to me.
*****
I was on a stag do in Manchester over weekend, flying the flag for my good mate Jonny Reggae.
The sojourn didn’t get off to the best of starts when it was announced on WhatsApp a few days before that the 80s footballer theme fancy dress had been cancelled. I had already purchased a Carlos Valderrama wig and tache off eBay and was devastated. In the immortal words of Alan Partridge, “Never gonna use them…. Never gonna use them.”
I didn’t know 80% of the people on the trip and sadly ignored ‘er indoors advice to “not get too drunk as you will alienate yourself”. I was on the cider from 11am and went through the various stages of drunkenness:
– Joke-telling and general merriment
– No-shame dance moves and profuse sweating
– Lairy and patriotic
– Starting to speak in tongues
– Sitting among the homeless
Yes, despite paying £90 for a hotel I inexplicably chose to sit __with a homeless crowd until sunrise and gave away a rather expensive suit jacket to boot. I won’t lie, I was p*ssed off when I sobered up enough to realise I’d given away my jacket. But then I guess good manners and kindness are always in fashion.
*****
Social media was up in arms over England’s inability to see off Slovenia on Tuesday night but I couldn’t have been happier.
Before the off I had a £50 double consisting of England to draw at 13/5 and Slovakia to beat Scotland at 21/20. I actually fell asleep during the match which tells you plenty about the Three Lions and Gareth Southgate’s steadying influence. I awoke to a rather shell-shocked looking Joe Hart being interviewed before realising I was over £300 up on the night.
On England. There are far too many players wearing the shirt who leave us wondering what it is they are actually supposed to be doing out there. If following them during Euro 2016 taught me anything it’s that we have some of the richest players in the world, but heartbreakingly none of the best.
On Scotland. Lolzy.
Cheeky’s Punt of the Week: Bournemouth to beat Hull City at 5/6 (Paddy Power)