Got to get a message to you (a return)
On Wednesday the excitable Antony Kastrinakis of The Sun claimed that Barcelona sent Manchester City a ‘blunt message’ when they gave one of the world’s greatest players Neymar a new contract.
Now on Thursday he brings talk of another ‘message’ – this time from Manchester City to Barcelona. This is like that WhatsApp stag/hen do group you’re too scared to leave.
And how did they send this ‘message’? Via their shirt, of course. Antony writes:
‘If you think City’s third kit is an abomination, remember this. Barca’s Dream Team wore this kind of “orange” at Wembley in 1992 when they won their first European Cup.
‘Pep started for Barca that night and Txiki Begiristan – now City’s technical director – was an unsused sub.
‘And if you look in the middle part of City’s shirt, it is actually blue and red – “Blaugrana”.
‘The colours of Barca.
‘It is not even cryptic. Not a nod and a wink, this. It is in-your-face, two fingers up at Barca’s current president.
‘The message? “We are going to create a better version of Barcelona at the Etihad.”‘
That might just be the shittest message we have ever seen. As for the kit being ‘actually blue and red’, you might want to tell that to your colleagues at Sun Online. Their headline:
‘Barcelona vs Manchester City: Twitter slams City’s garish orange and purple kit worn for tonight’s Champions League clash’
Twitter (for it is is one sentient being) is obviously not on message.
Uptown top ranking
They pride themselves on their ‘expert analysis’ so we’re grateful to the Daily Telegraph for ‘ranking all 32 Champions League teams in order’.
‘Can anyone match Barcelona?’
Spoiler alert: No, they’re top.
Rolling Stones
Martin Blackburn in The Sun under a headline of ‘ANSWER TO THEIR PRAYERS’:
‘At least Stones can board the flight home __with his head held high.
‘He would not look out of place if this were his permanent home – and there were strong reports that the Catalan giants wanted that to happen last summer.’
Pete Jenson in The Daily Mail under a headline of ‘Stones the statue isn’t living up to huge hype’:
‘No one faced a bigger test than John Stones up against a forward line that had scored 99 goals between them this calendar year ahead of the game.
‘It did not go well. A famous Paul Merson rant came to mind. ‘It’s not so much his passing more his positioning that needs to massively improve.
‘When he had his pocket picked by Luis Suarez the game was already up for City but it was still another blooper for the showreel. Another moment when he should have been moving and he wasn’t.’
We’re going __with Jenson; we suspect he didn’t write his piece before the game started.
Not a fine Mes
Oh Michael Owen. Mesut Ozil scored a hat-trick against Ludgorets to make it six goals for the season for the German, but that’s not enough for Michael:
“You don’t want to have a go at anyone after a performance like this (but) I’d love to see him really grip big games.
“He can perform, we know he can score goals, (but) I want to see him do it in a massive game, one of the big Premier League or Champions League encounters.”
Like when he scored against Chelsea this season, Michael? Or Bayern Munich last season? Or Manchester United home and away last season? Or Liverpool and Tottenham the season before?
Want to know which clubs Ozil has scored the most goals against in his career, Michael? Little Bayern Munich and Atletico Madrid, the big flat-track bully. Stealing a living, that boy.
Gonna drink Bacardi like…
Mark Irwin has obviously committed to his theme…prompting a headline of ‘HISTORY MAN’ on his Arsenal match report in The Sun.
‘MILESTONES are coming so thick and fast for Arsene Wenger that you wonder what there is left to achieve for football’s great survivor.
‘His 100th European victory as Arsenal boss came just weeks after he celebrated his 20th year in the job – and three days before his 67th birthday.’
Is a birthday an ‘achievement’? If so, stop wondering, Mark: We think that Wenger has got a lot more to achieve. Like 68, 69, 70, 71…oh and an actual Champions League trophy.
Bizarre paragraph of the day
‘With the high-priest of football showbiz heading back to Tinseltown, Catalonia, it was as if Wenger’s men had decided they would simply refuse to be out-sequinned by Pep Guardiola’s current and former pupils’ – Dave Kidd.
Yes, it was exactly like that.
Mediawatch translation: How come John Cross got to go to Barcelona while I got stuck with sodding Arsenal?
I love to hate you…
It’s quite the headline:
‘Robin Van Persie hates Arsenal and here is the conclusive proof’
And what is this ‘conclusive proof’? A tattoo? An Instagram post? The burning of a shirt?
No, it’s his reference to Manchester United as ‘home’. The nasty, nasty b***ard.
As The Sun’s Dream Team website says: ‘Shameless stuff.’
Indeed.
Hindsight is 20/20
After his performance last night, Valencia and Sevilla have one eye on The Ox: https://t.co/Qs2dVo0TVK
— Metro Sport (@Metro_Sport) October 20, 2016
Odd then that they quote a transfer rumour from El Gol Digital that was written about ten hours before the game.
Exclusive of the Day
‘Despite turning up late at both Tottenham and West Ham United last season Manchester United will not change their travel plans when they head to London this weekend’ – Mike Keegan, Daily Mail.
But will they go to Wing’s?
Liverpool gossip
It’s excellent that the Daily Express still have a proper old school local journalist in Merseyside man Paul Joyce.
It means he can write things like ‘Liverpool Uncovered: The key differences between Daniel Sturridge and Adam Lallana’ with a large degree of insight.
The URL?
http://www.express.co.uk/sport/football/723235/Liverpool-Uncovered-The-key-differences-between-Daniel-Sturridge-Adam-Lallana-News-Gossip
It’s what all those years of reporting have been leading towards…’Liverpool’, ‘gossip’ and all those delicious clicks.
Recommended reading of the day
Adam Bate on the making of Virgil van Dijk
Iain Macintosh on how Rafa is fixing Newcastle
Richard Jolly on time catching up with Cesc Fabregas and Wayne Rooney