Before feasting upon the quality on show in Liverpool’s clash __with Tottenham this weekend, take a walk down a dog turd-covered memory lane as we remember some of the dross that has appeared in this fixture before. The only rules are that the player must have appeared in a Liverpool v Tottenham Premier League match since the year 2000, to make it vaguely relevant…
GK: Radek Cerny: Despite both sides having some woeful keepers over the last couple of decades, they seem to have lined up against each other more often than not __with a relatively safe pair of hands in the sticks. So Cerny gets the nod on this occasion, which must be a rare feeling for a lad who played 16 league games in four years.
Cerny was signed to provide back-up for Paul Robinson at a time when the England keeper was undisputed No.1 for club and country. When Cerny’s chance came, under Juande Ramos while Robinson was chucking them in, the Czech stopper failed to take it. He dropped into the Championship with QPR and performed OK, but wasn’t trusted with the gloves when the Rs earned promotion to the Premier League.
LB: Gilberto: The left-back became the first Brazilian to play for Spurs who, not unreasonably, expected that the signing from Hertha Berlin might be a bit useful if he’d played 35 times for Brazil. But, Anderson, Roque Junior, Afonso Alves…
The then-31-year-old had a nightmare debut in the UEFA Cup, making a costly error before being hooked at half-time. “Every player makes mistakes. He needs to play more, that’s why I took him off,” said Juande Ramos, somewhat confusingly. Gilberto made seven Premier League appearances in 18 months before being shipped back to Brazil.
CB: Goran Bunjevcevic: The Serbian was a favourite of Glenn Hoddle, but as a sweeper, he was never quite suited to the demands of playing centre-half in the Premier League. Hoddle tried him in a number of positions, but once the Spurs legend left the manager’s hot-seat, Bunjevcevic’s number was up. Martin Jol, understandably, wanted someone who could run and tackle at centre-back.
CB: Josemi: Merseyside’s David May, non-playing sub Josemi made sure he’ll be remembered, if not recognised, by manoeuvring himself into position next to Steven Gerrard for the photos as the Liverpool skipper lifted the European Cup in 2005.
Josemi was Rafael Benitez’s first signing as Liverpool manager, with the Spaniard being picked for his compatriot’s first game in charge of the Reds – a 1-1 draw at Spurs. Josemi failed to settle on Merseyside and returned to his homeland with Villarreal in a swap deal for Jan Kromkamp. Which brings us neatly to…
RB: Jan Kromkamp: According to Wikipedia, the Dutchman was ‘a fair crosser of the ball with a lack of pace, who had difficulty in stopping opposition wingers getting crosses in’. Bit of a problem for a full-back, that, who was struggling to get a game for Villareal when the call came from Liverpool.
Benitez sussed him quite quickly, as Kromkamp admitted: “Rafa wanted to find a solution for me. His argument was that I wasn’t really a defender and he was right.”
CM: Milenko Acimovic: Another of Hoddle’s signings, the Slovenia star was much coveted when he agreed to join Spurs from Red Star Belgrade in summer 2002 after impressive showings at the World Cup and Euro 2000. He made only four starts before being flogged to Lille, where he admitted his move to the Premier League came too soon: “Maybe I made a mistake by signing so early in England. Perhaps I should have come to France before to learn.”
CM: Hossam Ghaly: Inconsistent at best, absolute sh*te at worst, Ghaly managed to make himself despised among Tottenham fans for his protest at being subbed against Blackburn in May 2007. Having been brought on in the first half, Ghaly had a ‘mare before being hooked in the second period – a decision that was very well received by the home supporters. Not having that, Ghaly removed his shirt and threw it to the floor. Despite issuing a grovelling apology a few days later, Ghaly was nowhere near good enough to get away with such behaviour and he never pulled on a Tottenham jersey again.
LM: John Piercy: There are some players we all have problems trying to remember; then there are players we are certain we have never actually heard of. Piercy falls into the second of those two categories. Apparently, he played a total of 123 minutes for Tottenham over two seasons between 1999 and 2001, but I’d defy you to pick him out of a line-up.
RM: Oussama Assaidi: “He’s an exciting player that will excite the crowd,” said Brendan Rodgers upon signing the winger for £2.4million from Heerenveen in 2012. Those who were there to witness his four substitute appearances in the league would probably disagree. However, the Reds still managed to almost double their money on Assaidi when he was sold to Al-Ahli after making him Stoke’s problem for a couple of seasons.
CF: Jamie Slabber: Youth product Slabber made his solitary Tottenham appearance as a substitute against Liverpool in a 3-2 defeat in March 2003. Despite setting up a goal for Teddy Sheringham, the 18-year-old was never seen in a Spurs shirt again. Slabber dropped into non-league, where he has since done a tour of 15 clubs. So far.
CF: Andriy Voronin: The Ukraine striker joined on a free transfer in 2007 and he proved himself to be worth every penny. As the second ponytailed striker in Rafa Benitez’s squad, Voronin got off to a fine start, scoring three goals in his first four matches, but it soon became clear that his quality could not match his effort. Benitez wanted him out and Voronin joined Hertha Berlin on loan in August 2008. A successful spell in Germany failed to convince Benitez, despite Hertha’s desire to keep the striker. Voronin returned to Liverpool, where he kicked his heels before joining Dynamo Moscow in January 2010.
Ian Watson